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Supernatural Advisory #111: Magpies

When encountering a single magpie in the field, a proper salute must be given or unfortunate circumstances may follow.

CONTEXT

Multiple instances of bad luck after failing to properly address a single magpie have been reported. The magpie is identified as a large blackbird with white spots. As magpies hold an honorary rank in the British army, one salute known to be effective is “Good morning Mr. General. How is your lady wife today?”

For magpies in groups of two or more, no precautions are necessary.

FIELD NOTES

lyrics

How is your wife today
Mr. General?
Off to the front to lead
Another battle

One for sorrow
Two for joy
Three for a girl
Four for a boy
Five for silver
Six for gold
Seven for a secret
Never to be told
Eight for a wish
Nine for a kiss
Ten for a bird
You must not miss

Avian Grim Reaper
White with a black necktie
Good morning Mr. Magpie

Seen on a windowsill
Death is pending
Pay him his due respects
Or risk offending

Bane of the gamekeeper
Mischievous and flighty
Acting high and mighty
Call out politely

Birds of a feather rise
And swarm like mayflies
Cawing their battle cries
To blot the sunrise

Wreath for a fallen friend
A blackbird funeral
Requiem on the grass
Of their cathedral

credits

from Lucky Ago, released October 18, 2019

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Color Theory Huntington Beach, California

Somehow I never outgrew the 80s.

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